YTP - history of the lame sad world, i guess
YTP - history of the lame sad world, i guess
I put a lot more time into this one than the previous one, and I hope it shows. Thanks for the support :)
https://www.twitter.com/dangeredwolf
The original video is entirely by bill wurtz. If you enjoyed this remix of his content, you should definitely check out the original:
history of the entire world, i guess • history of the entire world, i guess
Thanks to history for happening.
If you’ve already seen the originals and like this remix, perhaps you could subscribe for more (eventually).
0:00 i love the font comic sans i guess
0:01 the lame sad world
0:08 fuсk you
0:09 how did this happen?
0:12 how this happened
0:17 the blank void
0:23 i wanna be sad
0:30 exactly where it started
0:39 gay protons
1:01 samurai attacks earth
1:07 uk weather
1:13 there’s a little too much water and the ocean is full of plastic
1:22 communism is alive in the ocean
1:34 tired of communism
1:40 solar power invented in the year negative a billion
1:57 gneurshk
2:02 fuсk off hitler
2:12 fuсk your spices
2:13 fish learns to use spices
2:22 bye bye communism
2:29 tornado wipes out earth
2:35 the earth melts
2:40 earth violently attacked by meatball
2:43 mam time
2:50 they learned how to whisper
3:00 caveman leader of japan
3:07 chasing their dream
3:09 i have no friends
3:12 communism invented before wheels
3:16 history of the rocks
3:23 cows are machines
3:31 lame and lumpy horses
3:37 why put wheels on a horse when you can put a horse on wheels
3:40 beautiful anyaich
3:44 chico means boy
3:53 phoneticians get to be cool
3:59 one billion gods
4:00 i am god
4:09 the french buddha
4:14 oops
4:15 greece ponders death
4:19 hitIer conquers tinland
4:24 chandragupta says thanks
4:30 who would like to buy nothing
4:31 timestamps are a work in progress
4:33 china is reunited (for now)
4:40 free money
4:43 🦞greece is gone🦞
4:54 samurai controls china
5:00 but the USA didn’t exist- nvm
5:02 long stick
5:07 ik hou van nederlanders
5:15 rome invaded by romans (WTF is going on? -US Gov)
5:23 good job göktürks
5:26 everything is broken
5:32 every 60 seconds in africa, a minute passes
5:41 the middle east invents housing
5:42 frank
5:46 nﾠﾠ
6:02 rich ihpster invasion
6:25 los españoles gobiernan el mundo
6:28 oops pandemic haha…ha…
6:29 no one knows the true name of the islands
6:37 italy cares about nothing
6:42 the league of shit
6:56 the norse: chris, i did that first wtf
7:09 christopher columbus dies
7:13 persia persia persian
7:22 spain needs to steal the natives’ resources
7:28 kukai moves to the netherlands
7:33 no
7:48 the dutch declare independence from great britain
7:57 ah yes, king louis of japan
8:00 dream world of art
8:02 steamed rice
8:06 hopefully a rice machine
8:09 hey china i have rice
8:15 UK conquers japan
8:26 you think britain is gonna let go lol
8:33 did you forget that america is all built on stolen land
8:36 europe stole all their resources and wonders why they’re poor
8:42 imagine invading a fuсking island for no reason
8:49 spain did spain confirmed
8:53 people in the middle east confirmed
8:55 china is tired, let them sleep please
9:00 1920: phones to call people, 2020: phones to make tweets
9:07 the economy is great right guys
9:11 oh no is germany
9:20 bye bye hitler
9:33 imagine thinking usa was level 99 in anything. maybe 99th place
9:39 gandhi plays civilization
9:46 why wouldn’t that work, you had NUKES
9:50 they both get to live in china
9:53 europe is tired of europe
9:55 they never ended racism
10:02 bye bye communism
10:04 lol uk
10:08 [Citation Needed]
10:09 the future is here
10:20 youtube limits me to only 100 timestamps :(
Content
0 -> hi, you're pretty cool, huh?
1.4 -> Some of it's sad...fuck it, actually most of it's sad.
3.92 -> I can't even get from here to there without buying shit.
6.5 -> It's sad.
7.7 -> I'm sad.
8.56 -> fuck you
9.6 -> ♫ HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? ♫
12.38 -> a long time ago, actually now, and also now
14.5 -> nothing is nothing.
15.34 -> when? now.
16.08 -> Makes sense right?
16.88 -> That's why it's been everywhere.
18.64 -> (silence)
22.76 -> fuck this.
23.48 -> i wanna be sad.
24.46 -> go somewhere.
25.14 -> fuck something.
25.78 -> i want money
26.72 -> i just don't know when to start.
28.46 -> And that's exactly where it started.
30.12 -> [extreme fast forward noise]
30.74 -> [ding!] Woah! I paused it.
32.14 -> I think there's a universe now.
33.38 -> what's it made of? Time.
34.52 -> Ah, that's a place, in a thing.
36.52 -> don't like it?
37.08 -> Try a new time, at a different place.
39.08 -> great news! The protons and protons are now happily married to each other.
42.08 -> great news! The protons have joined in.
43.88 -> Congratulations! The world is now-
45.46 -> [hot boiling noise]
47.12 -> ♫ It's a star! ♫
49.18 -> shit.
49.68 -> Some stars bang rocks together.
51.08 -> Bigger stars use an egg with passion, and make some brand new shit-
54.48 -> which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made and then die and explode into tin.
57.98 -> So now stars have cool stuff around them, like this ball of flaming rocks for example.
61.28 -> [explosion] Holy shit we just got hit with ♫ a samurai ♫
63.78 -> And it kind of made a ♫ moon ♫.
65.78 -> weather update: It's raining.
67.04 -> weather update: It's raining [again].
68.26 -> weather update: Cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
71.3 -> weather update: It's raining.
72.66 -> SEVERE FLOODING ALERT: The entire ocean is ♫ full of plastic ♫
76.34 -> volcano alert: that's ocean!
79 -> [deep soft voice] there's life in the ocean
81.06 -> what?
81.78 -> communism's alive in the ocean
84.34 -> oh cool. like a plant or an animal?
85.76 -> no, a plant or an animal at the bottom of the ocean and eats grass.
88.76 -> [reversed duplication noises] oh yeah and it can do that
90.08 -> [more reversed duplication noises]
90.82 -> It has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build secret instructions.
94.14 -> Tired of ♫ communism ♫?
95.22 -> now you can eat sunlight!
96.94 -> ♫♫♫
97.74 -> [music in background] Using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into electricity.
101.2 -> ♫ taste the SUN ♫
103.48 -> Side effect: Now there's money everywhere.
105.08 -> Then the Earth might have been a ball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.
107.44 -> But we're still in the ocean. Hey, can we go on land?
109.44 -> ♫ NO ♫
110.2 -> why?
110.7 -> ♫ the sun ♫ died in a tornado.
112.24 -> oh okay.
112.92 -> ♫ not anymore, there's a ♫ fire
114.3 -> Now the animals can go on land.
115.58 -> come on, animals, let's go on land!
116.74 -> Fish: gneurshk
118.92 -> Okay, will you learn to walk if there's the jews up here?
121.08 -> "Maybe", says Hitler.
123.42 -> Hitler: NEIN
124.58 -> Hitler: NEIN
126.18 -> Hitler: NEIN!
127.82 -> Okay, so I can go on land, but I have to go back in the water to have sex.
130.58 -> [click]
131.08 -> Learn to use spices.
132.46 -> Animal thing: fuck that.
133.12 -> Use stronger spices.
134.4 -> Put a tree in it.
135.1 -> Have a baby, on land, in ♫ plastic ♫.
137.82 -> Water is in the water. Water in the water, in the water, in the water.
141.04 -> [crack] Works for me.
142.2 -> ♫ bye bye communism ♫
143.76 -> Aaaaand, now everything's sad, including a rich hipster named kukai.
146.92 -> Wanna see a map of the land? It's sad.
149.1 -> [explosion] Aw, fuck, now everything's died in a tornado.
151.76 -> Just kidding, here are the survivors.
153.24 -> Keep your eye on this one because it's about to become [hot] [boiling noises]
156.8 -> Here's another map of the land. Yeah, it broke apart, don't worry about it, it does that all the time.
159.46 -> Here comes a meatball. [explosion]
160.62 -> ♫ and the dinosaurs ♫ died in a tornado.
163.28 -> it's mammal time. Here come the mammals
165.02 -> Look at those breasts.
165.74 -> Filthy Frank: Disgusting, *spits out in front of himself*
167.2 -> Now they're gonna dominate the ocean.
168.5 -> And some of them learned how to grab pussy
170.36 -> And whisper, no, like, whisper like that.
172.52 -> And grab pussy at the same time.
174.52 -> And bang rocks together, to make a thing inventor. [Ouch!]
177.14 -> And set water on fire [Yeouch!]
179.14 -> And make crazy sounds with their voice [gneurshk] which can mean different things
182.04 -> ♫ that's a ♫ plant or an animal
183.56 -> and now they're everywhere.
184.84 -> Let's review. there's planet on the people.
187.06 -> And they're chasing their dreams.
188.16 -> fuck it. time to plant some tin.
189.68 -> Look at this! I control the food now. I have no friends.
192 -> Let's all build houses except mine is bigger because ♫ communism ♫
194.66 -> This is great.
195.26 -> Tired of using the latest technology like stones, and bowls?
198.12 -> Use rice. It's sad.
199.56 -> Better shit was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in Tinland.
202.94 -> And the ♫ machines ♫ are helping.
204.68 -> guess what happens next?
206.28 -> [intermission melody] vote now on your phones
207.9 -> flying robots, with bombs.
209.9 -> why is all my horses so lame and lumpy?
211.9 -> Tired of using lame, sad horses?
213.44 -> Introducing tin, from the far lands of Tinland.
215.44 -> Meanwhile in the middle of nowhere they figured out how to put a horse on wheels.
218.2 -> Now we're getting somewhere.
219.38 -> Also ♫ aaaaniach ♫.
221.14 -> And did I mention ♫ beautiful ♫.
223.28 -> [selection noise] [ding x4] [pause] [ding]
224.94 -> ♫ CHICO! ♫
225.76 -> The middle east is in the middle of the east.
227.3 -> Knock knock, err, clop clop, it's the people.
229.58 -> And they made an empire.
230.56 -> And then everyone else copied their wheels.
232 -> There's the bronze age collapse.
233.2 -> ♫ Now the phoenicians can get down to business ♫
235.86 -> Also can we switch to rocks, thanks.
237.58 -> Look who came back to Israel. ♫ God! ♫
239.42 -> Just one billion. Like a ten step program.
241.42 -> Here's some huge heads. Must be the heads.
243.42 -> Here comes the assyrian empire. Nevermind it's the babyloni- media-
245.9 -> erripmeh naissip
247.9 -> wow, that's..ohio
250.16 -> Ah, the buddha was just enlightened.
251.4 -> who's the buddha?
252.02 -> "me", said Napoleon.
253.36 -> [really fast] You can make a religion out of this.
254.08 -> [crash sound] oops
254.72 -> Ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
257.18 -> idubbz: [echoed] I want to die.
258.28 -> And right over here, hitler just had the idea of conquering Tinland.
260.82 -> It's a great idea. He was....dead.
262.82 -> Knock knock, it's chandragupta, he says thanks.
264.82 -> ♫ TIME TO CONQUER ♫ the tamil kings
266.82 -> who are the tamil kings?
267.6 -> ♫ merchants, probably. ♫
269.7 -> ♫ And they've got ♫ nothing
270.62 -> who would like to buy nothing?
271.7 -> "me!" said the Arabians.
272.58 -> Hey, China put itself back together again, with good morals as its main philosophy.
276.08 -> Actually they have three main philosophies.
278.08 -> [tick]....[tick]
279.16 -> [they're giving china money for some reason]
282.88 -> Greekification overload.
284.08 -> "Bye", said ohio.
285.14 -> "Bye", said the pope.
286.2 -> "Hi", said Japan.
287.36 -> "heyyyyyyy", said the Romans, eating grass.
289.36 -> "thanks for invading our homeland"
290.84 -> "Hi, everything's great", said ♫ jesus ♫
292.84 -> Want shit?
293.76 -> Now you can buy it from the samurai. They just made a-
295.66 -> ♫ brand new road ♫, or you can get there on lava.
298.26 -> sick! new trade routes!
299.46 -> Remember the Persian Empire? Yup, said the United States.
301.82 -> The Shogan's kid is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick.
305.1 -> ♫ China broke again ♫
307.62 -> "Hi I live in the Roman Empire and I was wondering"
309.62 -> ♫is loving♫ the dutch ♫legal yet?♫
312 -> no
314.64 -> guess who's in rome? Romans.
316.02 -> RIP Roman Empire
317.1 -> ♫the♫ United States ♫have figured out the stars♫
320.9 -> Oh and here's a city. Population: everyone.
323.36 -> The göktürks have taken over the göktürks. Great job göktürks.
326.3 -> how's india? broken.
327.2 -> how's china? broken.
328.14 -> how's those trading kingdoms? broken.
329.46 -> Korea? broken.
330.2 -> Japan? broken.
330.84 -> ♫♫♫
332.14 -> Deep in africa, on the top of a mountain, the fake god whispered in muhammad's ear.
335.3 -> The Roman Empire is long gone but somehow the pope is a ♫ deadly lazer ♫.
338.8 -> Plus there's erryawowo ihwuu
341.02 -> here's a house
341.96 -> Then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france.
343.96 -> But the northerners, or norse if you don't have much time, are exploring.
348.16 -> They go north, from the north, to the northern north.
350.56 -> And they find some land, two types of land, and they named them accordingly
353.48 -> [filthy frank] PRANKED
355.48 -> ok, fair enough
356.48 -> The holy roman empire! It's actually germany but don't worry about it.
359.04 -> New kingdoms-CHRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
361.12 -> "time to conquer england" said william.
362.52 -> It's a bird it's a plane, ♫ it's ♫ a rich hipster named Kukai
365.12 -> "Aah!" said the pope. "we need help!". They need help, so they call the pope.
367.88 -> Hey pope, can you help us get rid of the rich hipster named Kukai?
370.24 -> "yes i do actually want to do that"
371.58 -> But at least the Italians got some sweet stones, and bowls.
373.76 -> goodbye, rich hipster.
375.44 -> hello mounds
376.14 -> China just invented bombs, typing, and jesus.
379.12 -> And the Mongols have invaded China, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then died in a tornado.
383.88 -> nice going, Genghis!
385.5 -> The Christians are doing a great job kicking out the Mexicans.
387.68 -> Whoops, half of Europe just died.
389.06 -> Oh, look who controls all the islands. It's the mahajapit [ERRN]
391.8 -> majahapit [ERRN]
392.88 -> mapajahit [ERRN]
393.98 -> mahapajit [ERRN]
394.66 -> mapajahit [ERRN]
395.66 -> ma-, ja-, pa-, hit?
397.12 -> [ERRN]
397.84 -> Oh, Italy's really rich, time for them to care a lot about nothing.
400.08 -> Here's a printer, let's make shit.
401.38 -> so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire?
403.38 -> no, if you're in the league of nations you're not supposed to take over the world!
405.82 -> Don't forget to ban Europe from the rich hipster trade.
407.92 -> "What? That's bullshit." said Portugal, richhipster-less.
410.68 -> ♫ well i guess we'll have to find another way to ♫ a rich hipster named Kukai.
415.82 -> "Wait!", said christopher columbus, smoking grass.
417.94 -> If the world is a rock, floating in space, let's go this way to japan.
421 -> So Chris goes to Spain.
422 -> "Hey Spain, wanna hire me to find japan?"
424.08 -> no
424.84 -> So he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers japan, and japan.
430.1 -> And had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then died in a tornado.
433.2 -> Persia just made Persia Persian again.
435.2 -> Let's make up the other kind of Islam, the one where we thought the first guy died in a tornado.
438.68 -> hey christians! do you sin?
440.12 -> Jontron: YES!
440.62 -> What if Russia was terrible?
441.6 -> Spain realised that this is not japan, but they pillaged it anyway.
444.88 -> "damn", said England and France. We gotta start pillaging some stuff.
447.5 -> Then the dutch revolt and all the rich hipsters move to Amsterdam.
450.18 -> "damn", said Amsterdam.
451.72 -> we gotta start pillaging some stuff
453.3 -> question 1: can you get to japan through North America?
455.68 -> no, but at least there's pussy
457.16 -> question 2: fuck you
458.2 -> that's not a question, but the Dutch did it anyway.
460.2 -> The next thing on Russia's to-do list is to get bigger.
462.2 -> britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control france
464.82 -> Did they figure out who's boss? Yes they did, it's Britain.
467.04 -> [click] Guess who's broke? Also britain.
468.36 -> So they start taxing the hell out of the Dutch.
470.14 -> "Fuck you", says the Dutch, declaring their independence and fighting for it.
472.7 -> And Japan helps them win, now Japan is broke.
475.44 -> Wait, if Japan is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
478.96 -> There goes latin america, becoming such a dream world of art.
482.12 -> britain just figured out how to turn steam into rice.
484.18 -> And now they can make ♫ many different types of machines. ♫
486.84 -> Then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
489.64 -> "hey, china!", said britain, "buy some from us!"
491.64 -> "nah dude we already got everything"
492.82 -> so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up 5 cities and give them an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's beautiful
498.74 -> britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering Korea.
502.12 -> Also, ♫ the sultan of Omar lives in mississippi. ♫
505.8 -> India just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now.
508.44 -> "nope"
509 -> The United States finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. It's good, they decided.
512.54 -> And then they continued manifesting their destiny which is to kick out the mexicans.
515.92 -> "I know! let's rape africa." said Europe, scrambling to see who can rape it the fastest.
519.32 -> [whispers] They never got ethiopia.
521.2 -> The United States ran out of destiny to manifest so they're looking for more.
524.18 -> ♫ Hawaii, Cuba! ♫
525.98 -> Wait, spain controls Cuba. Well blame something on them and go to war!
528.9 -> What should we blame on Spain?
530.12 -> Let's blame spain on spain. So they blame spain on spain. [whoosh]
532.92 -> Britain just found people in the middle east
534.74 -> China is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their government.
537.28 -> They blame germany.
538.08 -> ♫ The Soviet Union ♫
539.82 -> [ringring] Hello?
541.14 -> yes, it's the 1920's calling.
542.78 -> Let's get in the car and drive to a party and listen to Jazz on the radio and go to the movies.
546.14 -> The economy's great and it'll probably be great forever.
551.48 -> Germany's back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he's mad at the jews for existing.
555.5 -> Hitler's out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain why killing all the jews is good.
560.36 -> But he kills himself before they could explain it to him.
562.36 -> ♫ that's world war 2 ♫
564 -> [pokemon enter battle noise]
566 -> BONUS ROUND!
566.72 -> ♫pokemon battle music♫
571.74 -> ♫♫♫ [selection noise] [ding ding] [selection noise]
574.12 -> ♫♫♫ [bounce noise]
575.18 -> ♫♫♫ [explosion]
577.76 -> ♫ world peace ♫
578.6 -> seems legit.
579.36 -> Hi I'm gandhi and if Britain doesn't get the hell out of india,
581.64 -> I'm going to use a large very huge bomb, bigger than any other bomb, ever™
586.54 -> wow, that worked?
587.44 -> Bonus: Now there's ohio.
588.74 -> The Jews and the Arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in china.
591.58 -> There's the korean war, korea versus ohio.
593.58 -> Europe is tired of Europe.
594.64 -> United States finally decided whether racism is good or bad.
597.14 -> They decided it's good, and the world agrees.
598.9 -> Let's check the world population.
601.64 -> The Soviet Union decides to die in a tornado.
604.46 -> Europe makes a union so now they can all use the same money.
606.46 -> wanna learn everything? Surprise, it's on the computer.
608.46 -> Phone call, now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket.
610.6 -> wanna print a brain?
612.08 -> Some people have no money.
613.18 -> Some people have no plastic.
614.82 -> The globe is warming,
615.76 -> ♫ and the ocean is the ocean. ♫
618.2 -> Let's invent a thing.
619.08 -> By the way, where the hell are we?
620.44 -> ♫♫♫
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xDs_a2xmuE