Indian Google Reviews That Shouldn't Exist

Aug 11, 2023

Indian Google Reviews That Shouldn't Exist

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We talk about Indian Google Reviews and how people are reviewing everything they see outside.. ab tum bhi comments me humara review karoge. bas yahi chalta rahega..
Jail Reviews Funny India

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Content

0.905 -> Inexpensive internet has given people a new hobby:

3.428 -> Reviewing stuff.

4.17 -> Movie review, tech review

5.549 -> low quality cricket review

7.024 -> eggplant review, socks review (why)

8.642 -> Harpic (=toilet cleaner), vest, tobacco, bowl, broom

11.137 -> Zandu Balm (=ointment)

11.865 -> Whatever they see, they review.

15.2 -> "What else can I reviewww?..."

17.045 -> What happened?

17.942 -> "YEAH! You come here. Its your turn today."

19.942 -> "I'll do such an amazing review of yours

21.659 -> that you'll maintain social distance for life!"

23.688 -> Every app, whether a crappy potato game or Amazon

26.239 -> everyone wants a rating review.

27.603 -> First you review the app,

28.96 -> if you purchased a product then review that

30.96 -> and then review the delivery person too! (so true)

33.28 -> We are Karan Johar (=talent show judge) all we do is judge people right?

35.52 -> For the delivery person, they ask "rate your experience"

38.637 -> What great experience is there in keeping a box outside the door?

42.46 -> Didn't even show the face...ExPeRiEnCe.

44.813 -> And as soon as you buy groceries online,

46.813 -> they start begging for reviews on phone.

48.516 -> Review of a vegetable, can only be done after eating right?

51.52 -> Right away, how many stars should I give just by looking at the potato's face?

53.76 -> Life went away writing essays in school, now reviews.

55.901 -> This is what life is now.

56.897 -> Now shopkeepers have started asking right outside the shop

59.01 -> "please rate us on Google"

60.572 -> Which people have taken pretty seriously.

62.657 -> Way too seriously.

63.724 -> Now they are writing reviews for paan shop like:

66.08 -> "Very crappy paan(=combo of areca nut and betel leaf)"

68.48 -> Obliterate this word. I don't need this.

70.72 -> This is what we put it up for!

72.48 -> They thought if they gave review at the shop

74.508 -> then the shopkeeper will spit paan on their face.

76.508 -> So these people took to internet for complaining.

78.381 -> "Soul soothing paan."

80.381 -> "This paan is so kadak(=crisp/brilliant)

81.703 -> my jiya (=soul) goes dhadak dhadak(=heart beating)"

84 -> Oh my, Rajeev Masand(=film critic) of paan!

86.325 -> Someone give him a column in The Times Of Paan!

88.325 -> "Dhadak dhadak"

89.392 -> Madhuri Dixit can dance to these lyrics.

91.392 -> "Its kadak paan is so kadak, my jiya goes dhadak dhadak"

95.074 -> Its good that you wrote it here.

96.593 -> Had you said it at the store

97.632 -> then the rest of the customers would have bolted

99.081 -> thinking there were drugs in paan for sure.

100.996 -> For Nandu Vada Pav (=potato cutlet in bread)

102.374 -> "Nandu sabka bandhu" (=Nandu is everyone's friend)

104.374 -> And Slayy Point is everyone's main point- (no don't do that)

106.204 -> "No no no omit this part"

108.091 -> "Onion do" (=GIMME ONIONS)

110.24 -> Here? Do vada pavings sellers keep google open?

113.272 -> Oh he hasn't given onion.

114.565 -> H-how do you ask for this? I'm feeling shy.

116.64 -> I'll take out my phone to lessen awkwardness (just ask dude)

118.64 -> Uh..uh I'll write it on Google reviews

120.64 -> Give me onions.

121.75 -> Uncle read it, please read it. (telepathy game strong)

124.32 -> Excuse me, please give me some onions.

126 -> (me looking at confident people)

128 -> (face of someone who missed opportunity...and onions)

130.154 -> (when life gives you onions, but the vendor doesn't)

132.606 -> *Certified dolt*

135.594 -> Poor guy has been waiting for onions since 8 months.

138 -> Best vada pav!

139.604 -> (artistic talent realistic food)

140.346 -> Dude! I haven't seen a vada pav like this before!

142.6 -> *murdered English version* hot oil cauldron rapidly he is sweating from him face

146.353 -> and many drops of sweating is felling in the vada container

150.316 -> So now you don't want them to put in the main ingredient?

152.316 -> Then you'll say it doesn't taste as good as before.

153.892 -> I would've said: "thank god he dropped it in the oil

156.712 -> and all he dropped was sweat" (not eating out anymore)

159.277 -> "Not good only pateto"

161.277 -> What else is there in a vada pav?

162.669 -> Did the vendor just hand you a potato ?

165.545 -> Bread?

166.414 -> "DIY. Go and and make it yourself!"

168.96 -> Some people will become Shashi Tharoor

170.96 -> just to review a samosa.

172.38 -> "food is prepared at night

174.38 -> using high quality vanaspati (=vegetable oil)

176.38 -> heated to secret temperature for extra kurkuraness(=crisp)"

180.218 -> How do you know these inner secrets?

182.218 -> What are you doing so late in the night?

184.952 -> "I'm ogling samosas!"

186.08 -> "Don't go during earthquakes

188.08 -> or else the roti(=chapati) and samosa will fall on you!"

190.349 -> Brother don't know about you,

191.487 -> but no one is going to have a samosa during earthquakes

193.982 -> And a samosa falling on your head is better than concrete and cement!

197.396 -> Nowadays if you go somewhere then it is mandatory to write reviews.

200.399 -> Even if its a local pub.

202.06 -> "Badva place" (=??)

203.48 -> Badva?

204.476 -> Since when was Budweiser given the nickname Budwa?

207 -> *drunk voice* Its an awesome place to get tanked

209.382 -> but it would be better if there was a girl...with pole.

213.254 -> Someone delete their ALT Balaji first. (=streaming app)

215.254 -> Bro, with cheap liquor worth rupees 35

217.254 -> you'll only get these Happydent fireflies on pole

220.526 -> And not Sunny Leone.

222.399 -> 4 stars, chilled room.

224.399 -> Guess what this review is for.

227.106 -> Agra Central Jail (say what?!)

230.067 -> Here the room is not getting chilled

232.562 -> Cake.

233.67 -> Police station?

234.893 -> Are they now making criminals cut welcome cake too?

236.893 -> What kind of a chief guest hospitality is this?

238.72 -> "5 stars because I always go here"

241.978 -> The guy is going to police station daily for chilled room and cake!

245.236 -> People are writing reviews as if they are frequent customers of jail.

248.32 -> "Good for a night stay"

249.92 -> "Good place to visit once"

251.637 -> You dolt its not a Goa resort or Oyo Room

253.581 -> that I can go to with family for a weekend stay

255.581 -> "I have visited two times nice atmosphere"

258.4 -> AtMoSpHeRe.

260.16 -> The DJ is visiting daily to set the atmosphere right?

262.019 -> On one hand the vada pav sellers are receiving cusses

264.485 -> and here for a jail:

265.835 -> "Nice food and clean bedding."

267.835 -> "Got arrested. They treated me very well." (so well that the brain fell out)

270.224 -> "The cells are also great, very clean, food was very good"

274.952 -> Why don't you just crack a coconut and inaugurate it as your home?

277.065 -> After reading this love letter kinda review

279.065 -> I don't think the prisoner would ever wanna leave.

281.065 -> Oh? I don't want to go out.

283.065 -> I'm good inside the jail. Please let me in.

285.065 -> "Your punishment term has ended dude."

291.701 -> Here take this. I'm a thief.

292.811 -> Take me back to my chilled room.

294.811 -> Yes! We'll have red velvet cake today okay?

297.179 -> "avoid getting arrested in summer"

299.52 -> Okay, so all the crimes have to be committed in winters.

301.93 -> No who are you writing this for?

303.237 -> Criminals aren't choosing jails based on reviews:

305.237 -> That sir someone has written best roti there,

307.52 -> you take us there only

308.743 -> The service is good.

310.177 -> What did this guy put in a jail review?

313.025 -> (Kakashi is crying at his rip off)

315 -> (arrested for eye-sore editing)

316.244 -> Bro at least improve your editing.

317.749 -> Now it is possible thanks to Vita app, that too on phone.

320.16 -> For example, once you click here there will be a neon frame applied.

322.499 -> And there are many effects like this.

323.722 -> Using split, this idiot has become idiotx100.

326.938 -> There are many songs according to the feel of the video.

329.192 -> categorised.

330.584 -> And the laughing sound effects too.

335.68 -> In case no one is laughing at your videos.

337.68 -> And this watermark? Here, its gone.

339.68 -> You can do it for free here.

341.12 -> Reading more reviews we realised some are just venting.

344.533 -> "Sis*** they don't have what I was looking for.

346.533 -> It gets over before I get it sis**-

348.222 -> I'm not able to get my hands on it."

350.053 -> Bro he is selling dry fruits.

352.364 -> The Diwali passing parcel.

354.166 -> And if you don't eat almonds for two days you won't become Ghajini.

356.859 -> Govind stores which is a grocery store, there:

359.749 -> "It is the perfect enjoyment spot for my friends"

362.187 -> What fun they must be having among sacks of rice & wheat!

365.28 -> "the shopkeeper here flirts a lot."

367.28 -> "He secretly gives his number along with things

370.001 -> and chats on WhatsApp the entire night.

373.403 -> Meaning a shopkeeper knows more ways than me to impress girls!

376.873 -> Do you go to get groceries or the shopkeeper's heart?

379.297 -> He must have given the home delivery number and

381.297 -> you are posing as Angel Priya on Facebook to flirt.

383.622 -> People have given reviews for public urinals too!

385.691 -> "Bro, definitely go here once."

388.03 -> Next holiday, take your kids for a fun visit to jail and public urinal.

391.203 -> Pee there once for sure with your entire family.

393.92 -> "Here, you toilet to slowly."

395.765 -> Yeah, who knows when you might get back these golden moments spent in urinals.

399.15 -> Public urinals Na Milegi Dobara. (will not come again)

401.15 -> Live every peeing second...slowly.

404.297 -> People have made a porridge of there brain and distributed it among the poor.

407.004 -> In the sea review, they have written:

409.004 -> "way too wet" (yeah if it was dry it wouldn't be there dumbass)

411.739 -> My..my IQ is dropping with every second.

413.525 -> Lets give them a sea after drying it with a hair dryer.

415.525 -> (and then these people write retired as retard)

417.709 -> Give.

418.394 -> Give me Ujala(=blue dye) and harpic too.

420.253 -> You can review Mumbai too,

421.857 -> whose reputation is such that people come here and are just like:

424.097 -> "expected to see Salman"

426.097 -> "Shah Rukh Khan never came out of the house"

428.097 -> despite having lived here for years even we haven't seen anyone.

430.79 -> And Taj Mahal.

432.352 -> Pride of the nation.

433.76 -> In the review of a world famous monument:

436.241 -> "Lovely girrrlsss. Mmmmmm"

440.545 -> This Romeo, instead of watching Wonder of the World

442.545 -> is ogling at Wonder Women.

444.545 -> Lust is dripping from the reviews too.

447.41 -> The world acknowledged it as a wonder, but some people back home aren't impressed.

450.315 -> "one star. Its a simple marble building that's all nothing else."

453.997 -> Nothing else?

454.951 -> Do y'all need a girl with pole everywhere?

456.951 -> "Only the building is lotus shaped otherwise nothing here to see."

460.64 -> So do you expect them to serve lotus cutlets there?

463.7 -> Have you all gone mad?

465.092 -> "Colour is not nice. I prefer blue or green."

468.803 -> Madam its not your bridal gown.

471.255 -> "Bullsh*t. So much hard work just to see some old rocks"

474.923 -> So you mean to say there is no difference in this and minarets?

476.923 -> Come madam come! Watch a minaret in rupees 10!

479.743 -> take a selfie with the minaret. Best!

481.743 -> "One star. Nothing is there. Just lake is there."

485.156 -> SOMEONE SEND THE GATORS FROM LAKE TO HIS HOUSE (lucky moment)

488 -> I'm going to delete Google. What absurdity are y'all spreading?!

490.975 -> Finally, Switzerland!

492.508 -> Its just ice. You can find it inside the refrigerator too.

495.441 -> Here, a diamond ring.

497.017 -> Its just a stone.

498.946 -> So take this only and smash my skull with it.

500.946 -> Mom, look I got a building constructed for you.

504.388 -> Its just cement.

506.882 -> Hey everyone! Leave the work there's no point building it!

511.215 -> You guys can never be happy right?

512.452 -> Videos, monument, everywhere you are like: "it was no fun"

515.795 -> Some people are giving one star rating with praises what is WRONG???

521.074 -> So that is for today guys.

522.565 -> If you have no desires of doing a one night stay in a jail

525.569 -> then subscribe. If you enjoyed the video then like it.

528.686 -> And don't forget to check out the Vita App.

531.379 -> For all your video editing needs.

533.11 -> Link is in the description

534.53 -> and we'll see you guys in the next one (Toodles!)

537.194 -> Before you give a review at least learn to type.

539.194 -> People are writing Juhu Chowpatty...as Juhu Chapati (=Roti)

542.89 -> And that too for a Bandra Fort review!

545.44 -> That's it I'm going. I can't process this anymore. I can't read further.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShXI5l48-vg